While today isn't my first Father's Day, it sure feels like the first. Last year I only knew Benny in terms of a few photographs. To me I felt like I had a deeper relationship with the checkout girl at Schnucks, than with my little boy. Needless to say, on an inner level, it was a bit frustrating on this day last year.

One technique I used to overcome my frustration was borrowed from a typical Olympic downhill skier. If you pay attention to their pre-race routines, you will find them off in a corner striking crazy, dancelike poses. Their hands are fluid in unison, making snakelike moves as they visualize themselves going through the course. I would stop and visualize Benny's face and try to see what he was doing at that very instant. At the same time, I would look forward to times we will actually be spending together as a family.

This weekend there was no visualization, and there was a bunch of doing. We watched the US get a tie in the World Cup soccer game, G and Benny blow bubbles downstairs, and we set up our wildly expensive and decadent family pool. To top it off, we went to church and saw some great friends.

Yep, Father's Day is much better when you experience it, rather than visualize it.