Words to think about

Our Greatest Fear
By Nelson Mandela quoted by
Marianne Williamson from her book A Return to Love
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Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate,
but that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant,
gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us.
It is not just in some; it is in everyone.

And, as we let our own light shine, we consciously give
other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.

After renovating our home, and doing other projects I was getting cocky at my handyman skills. This was until I was assigned to assemble and install a baby gate at the top of the stairs. Very frustrating, but I overcame the poorly written instructions. So far we haven't had to put the stops and locks on our kitchen cabinets and drawers. We are taking a page from a friend with 3 boys. She made it clear that they had their special drawer in the kitchen with all sorts of stuff inside. They have always taken the bait-rummaging through the "OK" drawer, and ignoring everything else.

Geri thinks our bambino looks like Ernie. What do you think?

My family ran a carpet store growing up. I always liked going there just to explore. Behind the counter we had various pamphlets of CO. One vacation guide had a picture of a woman that bore a spittin' image of Dad's grandma (according to him), different magazines like MO Conservationist, Maps of good camping areas, Old Ad's from the Moonlight Madness Sale and the Sidewalk Sale, and Newspaper clippings. My favorite newspaper clipping was titled "Applebutter Makin' Days" or something to that effect. It had a picture of Grandma, and talked about her family-famous apple butter. I miss her, but there are certain legacies around to remind me of her.

During Christmas we were fortunate enough to get a batch of "Grandma's Apple Butter". 3 words: MMM, MMM, GOOD. This is the gift that keeps on giving (at least for another week or so). Some things I never tire from: Reminiscing about exploring the volumes of behind-the-counter stuff at Towne & Country Carpet, chowing on Grandma's Apple Butter, and munching on Grandma's Sugar Cookies. Maybe I better get on the stick and mix up a batch of cookie dough for the freezer. Just for old time's sake.

Touching The Fan

I love kids. They have enthusiasm. If you want a supersized example of youthful exuberance, just watch American Idol.

Here at the homestead I call this enthusiasm "Touching The Fan". Benny has more than a passing interest in all things above. Not figurative, but literal. He cranes his head to see lights and ceiling fans. In his room he will sit and stare endlessly upwards at the rotating, white blades. Like a soul in need of mercy he lifts his small hands Heavenward. He doesn't know and understand physics. His tiny little legs cannot possibly lift his body high enough to feel what he sees. He has faith though. You can see it in his eyes and hear it in his shallow breathing. He lifts his hands to Touch The Fan because his Father will eventually see, and help him to his goal. I see and I do. I want him to experience sucesses, even at a young age. The payoff of reaching his goal is spying a priceless smile of amazement. You would think he was the first to touch a buried treasure from the looks of his little face.

I challenge you (because I am mainly talking to myself) in trusting the Father to help you Touch The Fans you are currently reaching for. Trust Your Father in what you are reaching for, and foster a noble enthusiasm for those around you. After all we are surrounded by people that are reaching for something. Allow The Father to lift you up.

Vegas was built on winners! Wrong. My stellar record was a perfect 0-2 in the final stretch to the XL Super Bowl. This my friends is why I don't have an affinity to gamble. Of course there is the penny poker sessions in college, and the time in Puerto Rico where I flushed $2 down the toilet playing the one-armed bandit, and the $20 flushed out to sea somewhere between St Maarten and Antigua. I also shouldn't be reminded of the 10's of lottery tickets bought over the years (self-imposed "Idiot Taxes"). Such great results. Zip, Zero, Zilch, Nada. Remember the only way to leave Vegas with $1 MIllion, is to arrive with $2 MIllion.

Oh yeah, Steelers over Seahawks.

Never. I repeat, never. Never go off the scripted list of questions. While we were talking to the roomfull of prospective adoptive parents at the Lutheran Church in Creve Coeur, I could sense another of my ramblings beginning to form in my mouth. How can I not speak from the heart about when the process to get Benny. I do alright when we are clinically describing the process..."Well, the paperwork was daunting at first, but we organized our files and broke it down to make it manageable".

When I write, sing, or speak from my heart I process mental pictures that are very colorful in my head. No, not like Timothy Leary, but full of detail nonetheless. I was explaining the moment we first held Benny, when my mind reset to the picture of G crying beautifully with her baby boy finally in her arms. Suddenly it was if Brittney Spears was singing over my shoulder.."Oops, I did it again"...the lump in my throat swelled, and my vocal cords shut down. I couldn't talk. All I wanted to do was just pour out my happiness, and all these people were just looking. Saved by the lunch break, where I had my first pizza since our New Years Eve pizza food poisoning episode. Mmmm. Nothing like throwinng up mushrooms while ringing in the New Years. Anyways, we made it through the talk. I even volunteered to do it again in May. I love this stuff.

Here is a pic of our future Spud Webb slamming the rock. Benny just might be the first 25th height percentile Guatemalan in the NBA. By the way, I did not teach him the creative finger signage. One day I'll teach him that hanging on the rim is a "T". His Daddy never really had to worry about that particular rule though.

DENVER STILL BY 6 to keep the perfect homefield season going. Pittsburgh will lament the day they try to blitz us into making mistakes in Denver. I have a feeling the Broncos will be telling the world a'la Brittney..."Oops, we did it again" in a few weeks with their next Super Bowl ring. It's just a feeling though. I have to have some joy in my thinking, as I am getting ready to settle in for a long night working on tax stuff.

Hows this for a goofy picture.

Here are my predictions for this weekends games:

Denver over Pittsburgh. Mile High Thunder pounds over the Steel City. Shades of 1997. My beloved Broncos will find a way to overcome the vaunted Steeler rushing defense. I am seeing Plummer getting some good breaks with the bootleg. Rod Smith will shine and Ashley Lelie will have a few key catches. Ultimately this will be a kickers game. I'll take Elam any day. Broncos by 6.

Carolina over Seattle. Who cares.

Better late than never

For the anon. poster, here are some prelim thoughts. I call this the (not so) daily news because I don't always have time to type and post what I want to say at that particular time. Quite often things (such as this response) are saved as "draft" (late at night) until I post them. It's somewhat hard to be in a new biz, have a new child, and be stretched thin. Somethings gotta give-usually it's blogging. This has been a very, very hectic week. Extend a bit of grace.

Here was my draft response to date. It isn't completely thought out, but for the time being here it is. Email me at eric.cope@netzero.net (a backup email). Maybe we can have a better dialogue than this forum. I'm more of a personalized one-on-one guy anyways.

I understand where you come from. It's hard be a Christian thinking that God is constantly switching his "thumbs up" or "thumbs down" based on how you are living at that particular moment.

I try and live a life pleasing to God. At different times of life, my faith and walk with God have seen their relative high's and low's. Oh, I'm sure that God has been right by my side. Probably the selfish side of me has contributed to my experiencing the low's. I am strong-headed, and have displayed a tendency to try and reinvent the wheel and question the "why's" alot. This makes for an interesting career path, but what about my spiritual path?

There are certain things I did not question until relatively a short time ago. For instance, my stance in the arena of worship content and style, Christian music, or the particular Church I attend. What is important to God? is it that we omit musical instruments during worship? is it the sign on the building (are these the only people going to Heaven?). Does a "liberal" church fall out of favor in God's eyes over a "conservative" church becuase they have a praise team, or they encourage small groups?

For those not knowing, penned below is a line of questioning that was sent to me recently. Of those that read this blog, what do you think?

I will be the first to admit that no congregation is perfect (no matter what the sign on the building says). I try and examine myself through Phil 2:11-13 when I look at how I worship and in reflection of my beliefs and motives. I grew up in a conservative congregation, and have attended or visited the scope of conservative/mainstream/liberal congregations.
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ANON. SAYS:
I have read your blog entries and some of those of your friends. You seem to have quite a head full of knowledge. I was wondering if I could ask you some questions...I grew up in the Church of Christ. But the older I got the more I felt like I was in a faith of hypocrisy. Not just my church but the whole faith. I was taught that if you sin you go to hell and that we dont rely on the Grace of our God. Well we sin everyday, Grace is one of the only things we can rely on. How horrible to think that I accidently did something wrong right as I die, and think that I was going to hell because of it. I was raised to think that if I used any Bible besides the King James I was going to hell. We as a Church of Christ were quick to judge everyone who wasnt "COC" I was a strong believer in my religon and now I feel like I was pushed away. I am now attending a Baptist church. They are involved in the community, very uplifting, non-judgemental. They also teach about that Grace which I believe, and its not just the once your saved just sit back and relax, it is actually a "live faithfully" attitude.

I just dont understand, what makes the "COC" so perfect. I always heard of there being too liberal of congregations. Well there is such a thing as too conservative too. Any words of enlightenment.

How cool is this

He had it right when he sung, "Suprise Your New Love Has Arrived..." I just love George Strait. It wasn't out of the Blue, Clear Sky though!

Just look at this picture. Isn't it great. Let me introduce my small blogging world to Olivia. She will finally be sleeping in her cute room (decked out with custom paintings) this weekend. We are so happy for her.

Throughout their long journey, there were months of anxious moments and tears of frustration. It was OK. It's hard to understand the big picture when your "hut is burning" (see a previous post). I am convinced God delayed things in their adoption journey knowing that Olivia was waiting for her mom and dad to pick her up halfway across the world.

When the 4 of us were having lunch in December, I tried to explain to Olivia's mom and dad, through my awkward and teary silence what they now know about how the frustration simply melts away when you hold your child for the first time. When you are finally a family united. If I try and voice my feelings about my first experiences with Benny, my throat clamps shut and my tear ducts open up. Holding your baby that first week affects your life from that point on.

Have a safe flight back from China.

Since we are speaking to a group of prospective adoptive families on Saturday, I better practice not tearing up. After all, there's a free lunch in the deal.

two halves

There was a slight drizzle tonight. Not to be undeterred, we bundled Benny up and donned our jackets to go stroller jogging. With the Georgetown to Idaho Springs 1/2 marathon looming around the corner in August, I need to get on the stick!

Good news. With the new Korean adoption regs coming out in February, they are placing emphasis on adoptive parents who are Korean in heritage. The wait is 1/2 the normal time. This is great. To space our kids apart, we can have more 1 on 1 time with Benny.

Here's a pic before we went jogging tonight.